All your friends are doing it. Maybe you've taken the leap already, or are busy thinking about it - or the lack of it - but the topic is undeniably hovering in the airwaves like a UFO.
Your second Saturn Return is an important time of karmic love relationships too. That doesn't mean it's forever though. You know those soulmate types you can't live with, can't live without - who, in retrospect, you realise have taught you bunches of lessons cloaked in a flurry of drama, but you are just terribly wrong for each other in the long term.
These usually happen just before a new era, healthy love relationship.
In the next three years as Saturn moves through Libra, everyone will be affected at some level.
Relationships need to be consciously defined.
To marry or not to marry. To marry or to separate. To stay together, but unmarried. To wondering why you are not married yet and the intense need for coupling.
If you are having your Saturn Return, you can't help but notice that many of your friends around age 30 are getting married or have strong urges to get married. You might have dated bad boys and emotional vampires in your 20's but now you start to crave more stability and less mind games.
You might shock yourself by becoming "tamed" when you meet the right person and suddenly understand the nature of true unconditional love.
Is your mind now focussed on the future and what it holds?
Getting Things Right
If your relationship has been out of balance, now is the time to put things right. You may need to speak up and voice your concerns instead of merely placating the other with a flimsy bandaid. If you are not authentic in your relationship, it hurts both parties.
Do you need to shift chores or responsibilities to gain more equality? Do you need to tell the other person where you feel like you are getting the short end of the stick? It can only be better when both of you are operating from a place of honesty and authenticity, otherwise it could feel like you are two robots having a relationship.
Let's call you Wall-e and Eva.
If you are in search of greater intimacy, greater depth in your relationship and an emotional investment in the future, this might feel unfulfilling on a soul level.
Now that Saturn is in Libra, all those relationships which are going nowhere will most definately be given the final heave-ho. A classic make or break time.
Or you could be on the right track, but need to balance or sort a few things out before taking the plunge into greater commitment in some way.
Modern Marriage
What does marriage mean for you? What is your motivation in getting married?
Do you want the dream wedding and for your mother to get off your back already or do you want the actual realities of marriage?
Do you want to keep up with the Jones's or do you want to invest emotionally and financially in your partnership, shifting your orientation in life towards greater responsibility, creating a beautiful array of alchemical change in your life?
To have children?
If your relationship is not balanced at the moment, then a wedding or a child will not fix that. Only you and your partner can, and Saturn implores you to do so.
If you have been in a going-nowhere relationship for five years, hoping one day he will pop the question, are you being realistic? Saturn in Libra time, is time to see the writing on the wall. Time to be realistic about what you both want. Time to value yourself more and what you have to contribute to a committed partnership.
You might realise that you want different things and to get those things, you have to make a hard decision.
This works both ways and if your partner is urging you to get married and you are fighting it, they have every right to tell you what they want.
This reminds me of Beyonce's song "Single Ladies"- if you like it then you should have put a ring on it. Have a listen!
Commitment Phobia
You could be feeling this pressure to marry but you or your man have commitment issues. The thought of being bonded to one person makes you perspire subtly and you are busy plotting escape plans in your head...just in case. This could be conscious or unconscious too.
If you keep finding things that are wrong in the relationship and then the next day kick yourself for being so petty, you could be suffering from a form of unconscious commitment phobia.
If you got married, all other possibilities and opportunities in the future would be off the table and this could seem like a restriction of your soul. Either it's not time for you to get married yet - or ever - or you could realise that this is not a death sentence, it's a partnership which strengthens both of you.
Viewing it this way gives you a one-way ticket to adulthood.
I for one believe in the beauty and romance of marriage, when it is well-considered. However, I also believe that you should be able to make your own rules that work for both of you and that people change over time.
As long as you are both on the same page and committed to the relationship, then it will continue.
Stagnant situations are not good for the soul.
I just read a great book about deliberating over whether to get married or not, called Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage
by Elizabeth Gilbert - the same author of Eat, Pray, Love
.Gilbert talks about the history of marriage and what the motivations for getting married were throughout the ages. Does it benefit both partners? What are the things you sacrifice? From romance to convenience to duty, she provides a stimulating discussion of the topic, eventually at the end deciding to take the plunge for the second time and marry her Brazilian lover.
I recommend it highly if you are considering marriage.
Thoughts?
Related Links
1000 Questions for Couples
Questions I Wish I Asked Before I Got Married: The Top 100 Questions People Wish They Asked Before Marriage
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